Keeping our overachieving freak on a leash
Being busy is not something we strive for; it’s an axiom. Social media are not helping; our whole lives are on the plate. And we’re chefs serving fast food.
We show how we dance on TikTok, we show where we go on Instagram, and we show how charming we are on Tinder. We show how intelligent and successful we are on LinkedIn.
We also show our engagement by checking Slack and work email after hours. And hey, are they really “after”?
Of course, we’re doing none of that to show up. We’re casually elegant and casually busy.
Sometimes, all of that is not intentional; sometimes, it “just happens”, and that’s something to watch for. If we influence others, we may unintentionally boost their grind for business.
You may say you have just 50 followers on Instagram and are not an influencer, so we’re good. You may be right, but… Maybe you’re a tech lead sending emails after hours or a friend sending work-related links to your colleagues. All of that, even if unintentional, can lead to building a false view of yourself as constantly busy. And you may create an impact that you don’t want to make.
I also should be more careful in what I’m posting and how I’m posting it. I’m not doing much overtime work now. One of the reasons why I went “solo” was to get more time for family life, be more flexible and be less stressed. I was almost burned out in my last regular job. So, I know how hard it can be and how important it is to take care of mental health.
Currently, I don’t have full-time assignments. Most of what I do nowadays is related to consulting and workshops. My running joke is that I’m earning money from consulting for my OSS passion (so Marten and Emmett).
That gives me more time to work on OSS and content, as that’s also my job now. Visibility helps to get new contracts. So, I spend more time blogging and doing OSS than the average person. Doing stuff in public helps me to motivate. I like to learn and build in public and share my findings. Plus, it seems to help some people.
So it’s not my intention to look busy. Yet…
Yet, it may look from the outside like I’m busier than I really am. And that’s dangerous as this can cause FOMO and make unhealthy comparisons.
So what to do about it? And what you can take from this blog?
If we want to respond on Slack/Discord/Email in the evening, hoping that someone will read it in the morning, let’s not do that. Just answer in the morning or schedule the message to be sent later.
If we want to share something, consider whether this message is worth it and if it has content besides showing ourselves as busy or grinding.
Let’s keep our overachieving freak on a leash.
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Cheers!
Oskar
p.s. Ukraine is still under brutal Russian invasion. A lot of Ukrainian people are hurt, without shelter and need help. You can help in various ways, for instance, directly helping refugees, spreading awareness, putting pressure on your local government or companies. You can also support Ukraine by donating e.g. to Red Cross, Ukraine humanitarian organisation or donate Ambulances for Ukraine.